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Bartender (I'll Have What The Man On The Floor's Been Drinking)

by Matt DeBlass

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I wrote this about a million years ago, and always wanted to make a better recording of it than I'd had in the past. Finally home recording technology has made it easy, so now I can do it with added bodhran and mandolin.


As I roved out on a Friday night as down as a man could be
my mind's upon so many things, why'd they all happen to me?
As I stepped into the corner pub, I felt I was on the brink
and I knew that what I needed was a really good stiff drink

But what to have, surely something stronger than a stout
and wine is fine, but not quick enough, and the whiskey was all out
Then in walked a man about 7'2" and he says without even blinking
"Bartender... I'll have what the man on the floor's been drinking"

The barkeep reached beneath the bar and pulled some bottles up
and poured them all together into a little metal cup
mixed them all up well, added a twist of lime and then
placed it on the bar and said, "six pounds and ten"

The giant took a mighty gulp and let out a mighty roar
his eyes rolled up, his jaw dropped down, he fell upon the floor
I knew right then I'd found the stuff to stop a man from thinking
and I said, "Bartender... I'll have what the man on the floor's been drinking"

The barkeep he looked up at me and gave a knowing wink
he reached beneath the bar and brewed his mighty drink
I threw ten pounds upon the bar and I said, "keep the tip"
I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a little sip

It was like nothing else in the whole world that I had ever tried
it took me right through drunkenness and out the other side
and as I lay there on the floor, all filthy drunk and stinking
I heard someone say, "Bartender...."


released July 22, 2022




Matt DeBlass Madison, Wisconsin

Matt DeBlass is a folk musician based in Southeastern Pennsylvania specializing in traditional and modern folk music on harp, bodhran, voice and other instruments

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